Harry Potter - The Epilogue 'That's All She Wrote'

I recently saw some of the cast pictures for the final Deathly Hallows movie, if I do ever see that movie (which is looking increasingly unlikely) I plan on walking out before the end. This most likely rehashes every complaint that has ever been made about J.K Rowlings epilogue, but I thought I would do it again. Since we have the photos (and soon the movie) to complete this utter travesty!

I loved the Harry Potter series when I read it. The writing was fresh and imaginative, and it brought fantasy to life in a way that was accessible for people of all ages. Looking back now I realise just how much I missed. I can’t take full credit for that – it took 3 years of studying law as well as reading numerous fanfics to realise that it wasn’t just the epilogue that stank. If you read carefully probably the only balanced realistic character in the book is Neville Longbottom! (I will expand on this at another time in another rant)

The other characters while well illustrated are almost entirely flat. They are all caricatures of common stereotypes. You could transpose them into any teenage/parody movie and they could fit perfectly. Lets see: you have the Hero (Harry Potter himself), The Side Kick (As played by Ronald Weasley), The Brainy/Nerdy One (Hermione), Blond Bimbo (Lav-Lav), The Kindly Wise Mentor - I think most people can see where I am going with this. The fact is all these characters – including the Harry Potter never go any deeper than their stereotype.

Despite all this, it is still well done and we could have been very happy – if given even a semi-realistic ending. The fact is the series had a wide range of readers from very young children to older generations with grandchildren of their own. Taking this demographic into account couldn’t Rowling have ended on a note we all would have been more satisfied with? In hindsight I think she could have done better with ‘and they all lived happily ever after…’. Instead we have this monstrosity…

And there you have it. Draco Malfoy is looking old and bald, must be those horrible Black family genetics - as his father was still looking hot at that age. The happy couple have 3 aptly named children. Hermione helps house elves. Ron enlarges his emotional range to fit a tablespoon and all is well at Hogwarts.