Harry Potter - The Epilogue 'That's All She Wrote'

I recently saw some of the cast pictures for the final Deathly Hallows movie, if I do ever see that movie (which is looking increasingly unlikely) I plan on walking out before the end. This most likely rehashes every complaint that has ever been made about J.K Rowlings epilogue, but I thought I would do it again. Since we have the photos (and soon the movie) to complete this utter travesty!

I loved the Harry Potter series when I read it. The writing was fresh and imaginative, and it brought fantasy to life in a way that was accessible for people of all ages. Looking back now I realise just how much I missed. I can’t take full credit for that – it took 3 years of studying law as well as reading numerous fanfics to realise that it wasn’t just the epilogue that stank. If you read carefully probably the only balanced realistic character in the book is Neville Longbottom! (I will expand on this at another time in another rant)

The other characters while well illustrated are almost entirely flat. They are all caricatures of common stereotypes. You could transpose them into any teenage/parody movie and they could fit perfectly. Lets see: you have the Hero (Harry Potter himself), The Side Kick (As played by Ronald Weasley), The Brainy/Nerdy One (Hermione), Blond Bimbo (Lav-Lav), The Kindly Wise Mentor - I think most people can see where I am going with this. The fact is all these characters – including the Harry Potter never go any deeper than their stereotype.

Despite all this, it is still well done and we could have been very happy – if given even a semi-realistic ending. The fact is the series had a wide range of readers from very young children to older generations with grandchildren of their own. Taking this demographic into account couldn’t Rowling have ended on a note we all would have been more satisfied with? In hindsight I think she could have done better with ‘and they all lived happily ever after…’. Instead we have this monstrosity…

And there you have it. Draco Malfoy is looking old and bald, must be those horrible Black family genetics - as his father was still looking hot at that age. The happy couple have 3 aptly named children. Hermione helps house elves. Ron enlarges his emotional range to fit a tablespoon and all is well at Hogwarts.  

A Novice's Guide to Modern Corsetry

When the word ‘corset’ is mentioned the most popular image that comes to mind is Mammy lacing up Scarlet O’Hara for the picnic at Twelve Oaks.

“Now, come here and lace me tighter!”

Or perhaps something a bit naughtier…

Whatever your preconceived notions, wearing a corset is a great way to tuck in your waist and flatten your stomach. There are millions of different corsets out there and they can make a lovely top for a night out or just something different. I’m no expert, but I have been fascinated with period clothing all my life. I have always wanted a corset but was not willing to shell out hundreds of pounds on a whim. I recently found a site online and bought three – a cream satin, a purple taffeta and a black brocade. I wore one to a theatre performance – which was the first time I had worn one for any length of time (other than to try them on after they arrived). These are a few things I noticed.

1. From Mammy’s pulling and straining I had an idea that it would take someone very large and strong to lace it tightly. Here I must observe that all my corsets are suitable for heavy lacing – in layman’s terms they can reduce your waist comfortably by about 4-5 inches. I am a size 12 (UK) with a 34 ½ inch waist, when I am fully laced and tightened (the two ends of the corset meet at the back) I am a 30 inch. I was pleasantly surprised to find I could do this myself, fairly easily. The corset doesn’t lace from the bottom but rather from the middle where there is a large loop on either side. By pulling from both directions and working the slack towards the loops you can tighten and tie off right down to the 4-5 inch reduction by yourself.

2. If you always thought the ladies in those old paintings were sitting like they had a metal rod shoved up their spine – well they did! A few of my friends did notice that my posture was really good (I couldn’t slouch and face forward at the same time). It was really hard to put on shoes or anything that required you to bend at the waist – you just can’t!

3. Do not run wearing a corset that is fully laced! I was running late and ran to meet a friend and was panting for a good few minutes.

4. Despite all of the above points, corsets are more comfortable than you would think. They look really flattering – not only giving you a flatter stomach and smaller waist but also making your bust look bigger. They also make you feel more aware of your body – possibly because of number 2 – which means you can’t do everything the way you normally do.

Result: a positive experience and I will definitely add to my collection!

Here is a black and white photo of me wearing the black brocade. It’s sized as 30” but I’m not wearing it fully tightened so my waist is probably about 32” here.

Greetings starshine, the earth says "hello"

I would like to dedicate this blog to the: wierd, fanciful, - or where ever else my wondering mind leads. So sit back and enjoy the ride.